Zoolander Centre For Ants.

Casualties of my washing machine

Today, I’d like to take a few moments to remember some items of clothing who have been wounded – some fatally, others salvageable – in a battle which started out with hope and ambition.

I have just moved into our new apartment. After months of lining up to use a shared washing machine (but not in the morning when people were showering, or at night when people were showering), waiting days (yes, days) for my jeans to get to a point where I could at least put them on and hope the outside air would finish the job throughout the day, I was very excited to use our new washer/dryer. The fact that our washing machine is also a dryer was one of the key selling points for this particular apartment.

After the first wash and dry, the clothes came out quite damp. I would say the point between damp and dripping. This was a bit frustrating but hey, I was used to waiting days for dry-ish clothes so this was fine. I popped the cycle back on and turned the heat up. Perfect – my load of t-shirts and relatively hardy items was done and crisp upon inspection.

Next wash, after the extremely satisfying previous load, I left the heat up for the wash and the dry (there is only one set of temperature controls for both cycles). Perfect – once again, dry as the weather here is not.

Getting ready for work the following morning, I was slipping into my favourite new pair of jeans from River Island. River Island are actually a store here; until now they were just one of the many ASOS brands. These jeans fit perfectly. Snug but left enough room for comfort, especially around the waist. To my displeasure they were a bit too snug on this particular morning; I really had to do the lunge/squat/pull them up routine. I know that I’ve been a bit slack with the gym lately but I’d worn these in the past few days!

They had shrunk.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been very conscious to keep the heat down (and consequently run the drier for 3 hours to get the clothes dry) but it just seems to keep shrinking things!

Let’s have a moment of silence for:

  • My perfect dark denim jeans. May your waistband return to its former stretchy glory (at nights, I stretch it out around my Mac).
  • My new bamboo/wool blend socks. The heel will never fit quite right again.
  • My versatile black cardigan. The buttons melted – two melted together – and now resemble tiny little pottery mugs that I would have made in preschool.
  • These Jack Wolfskins. What is this – a glove for ants!?

Glove for ants

  • My white Bonds t-shirt (my now-blue Bonds t-shirt).
  • My extremely comfortable Country Road blue jeans. The waistband is no longer my friend and the seams leave pressure lines down my legs.

The lesson has been learnt. I now wash with the setting on room temperature and dry on the lowest setting.




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